My mum doesn’t know who I am. Sadly, I don’t mean that in an angsty way – she literally has no idea who I am. Sometimes I’m her sister. Sometimes I’m her dead mother. Once I was Shirley Bassey, which made for an interesting evening. My mum was diagnosed with dementia with Lewy bodies three years ago, when she was 64 and I was 30. She’d just retired, and we were looking forward to spending more time together.
I’d spent my 20s doing my own thing, having selfishly assumed that we’d have lots of time to get to know each other properly when I got bored of clubbing. I was wrong. Instead of visiting coffee shops, we ended up visiting the memory clinic. After months of appointments we were finally sent home with a diagnosis, an information leaflet and a six-month review booked in to see how we were getting on. I imagine it’s a bit like going home with a newborn baby, but with less support and no balloons. Having previously struggled to even take care of a houseplant, I was fairly apprehensive at the prospect of becoming a carer.
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